Illegally Roommates MK II
by Galvantula866
Summary: Adopted from Jedi Alex Colbent. Three of the most powerful aliens are now living in New Jersey. Can they learn to live together or is that too much to ask for these guys?
1. Brand New Day! Part 1

**Hi ya! ****Jedi Alex Colbent gave me the go-ahead to adopt his story, "Illegality Roommates" I'm going to add my own touches here and there, but the overall sprit should stay the same.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Sonic the Hedgehog, Ben 10, American Dad or any of the copyright protected characters you are about to read about. They are the property of SEGA, Man of Action, Cartoon Network and Seth Macfarlene.**

**Illegally Roommates**

Chapter 1

Codependent as usual

The once great and powerful alien warlord known as Black Doom sat with a newspaper and cup of coffee in the blue leathered chair that resided in the den of the moderately sized house he shared along with his two roommates.

One was an accomplished intergalactic warlord much like himself whom with his numerous achievements and assaults against the universe, particularly against the Plumbers has earned the tyrant's respect as a warrior. The other... well, not so much. The door to the house opens as the Chimera Sui Generis named Vilgax walks inside.

"Have you seen Roger around here lately?" He asked his roommate with a hint of concern in his voice.

"Not particularly and I don't truly care," Black Doom responded in disgust. "But if we know him well enough, he's probably throwing away half of his savings at a local bar while hitting on cheap hookers."

Their roommate Roger, a gray skinned alien of unknown race and origin, was always causing problems for himself and others, even _before_he started rooming with them.

He had previously lived with the Smith Family located in Langley Falls, Virginia after saving Stan Smith, a local CIA agent, from certain death. But ever since then, he had been nothing but trouble and chaos for the Smiths and everyone around them with his pansexual and often unstable habits. The final straw was when he had turned the Smith Family house into a literal slaughterhouse while Stan and his family were on vacation.

It had been only two months since that dreadful day. The Smiths were coming back from a vacation in London and only Stan had not enjoyed himself while there. "Francine, please tell me again why coming to a country that hates America was a good idea," he growled.

"Oh, stop your bitching. You needed the culture more than anyone else and you know it," Francine counted as her blonde hair bobbed up and down as they walked back to their house. "Heaven forbid you'd end up like that fat slob that washed up during the hurricane season. Tubby's gonna die if he doesn't get off his fat ass more often," she snarked, the memory of Peter Griffin coming as strong as ever. Just the sight of him caused Francine to double back in disgust. Francine wanted Stan to come with her and the kids to London to unwind and have fun. Stan, being the right wing nutter he's known for, didn't enjoy his time there as much as Francine wanted.

Their youngest child, Steve was bouncing around like a puppy. "I can't wait to see how the house looks! Roger promised us he'd re-do everything so it looks awesome!" he cried out in glee.

"That is _if _he didn't much it up. He may be your alien, but he's a total flake and insane. That's the nicest thing one can say for Roger," Haley, Stan and Francine's oldest child explained with a somewhat bitter tone. She knew from firsthand experience that if Roger says he's going to do something, he'd either do it ass backwards, poorly, or worst of all just plum forget to do it at all. Her wedding dress was never going to be the same again after Roger washed it with his purple pimp suit.

"Don't be such a worry wart, Haley. I paid Roger in advance so he has no excuse to goof off. Besides, we were only gone for a week. What harm could he have done in that little time?" Francine replied mindfully.

The Smith's peace of mind was shattered where they heard ominous music coming from their house. Panicking they ran inside and saw that Roger had turned the living room into a scene from one of the "Texas Chainsaw" movies. Blood from random animals flowed from the floor after Stan opened the door and the family was greeted by the ghastly sight of dead animals hanging from hooks.

From out of the darkness came Roger clad in an apron covered in blood. "Hey guys!," he greeted them in a cheerful manner. "I was hoping that I'd help you with the haunted house scene. Can't let Buckle keep kicking your ass, now can we?" His hopes of seeing them be happy with his work were dashed by the look of sheer anger on their faces.

"Roger, we have put up with a lot from our time together. But you have crossed a line I doubt you can ever cross back. You can't live with us anymore if you think you can keep hurting us like this." The alien was stunned to see that Stan was so upset and angry at him that he was fighting back tears. He tried to protest this but Stan punched him with such force he flew on his butt grey butt.

Roger was forced to use most of the money he had gathered in his long time on Earth to pay for all the damages done to the house. That meant selling a lot of his possessions, leaving him with the bare bones of what he had before. With three suitcases to his name Roger was booted out of the house as the Smits looked at him with such contempt. Making this worse was the fact that Klaus was mocking him all the way nonstop.

It was by a stroke of pure luck that a few days later, he ran into his old Galactic Community College friend Vilgax. Desperate and with nowhere else to go to, Roger was offered a room at a decent sized complex located in Hammonton, New Jersey with Vilgax and another roommate, the former master of the Black Comet, Black Doom. Roger, left with no other option after being given the boot from the Smiths, accepted his proposal. Yet despite agreeing to chipping in with a third of the monthly rent each billing cycle, he had proven himself in the course of two months to be unreliable and immature to the point where Black Doom and Vilgax had to take turns bailing him out of his usual and annoying shenanigans.

"Tell me why you thought it would be good to invite your moronic college roommate to live with us again?" Black Doom asks his tentacled roommate with irritation in his voice. "I fail to see the charm in your little alien pet."

"Because he can be a good friend if you give him the chance. Besides, he had nowhere else to go, and it's my way of paying him back for a favor he did for me a years ago," Vilgax answered, a small smile on his face.

"I had at least thought he could have been mature for once and start pulling his own weight instead of relying on others to save his lazy, deadbeat, alcoholic ass!" Black Doom raged as he slammed his fists down on the chair.

"I know he's difficult to understand, but after what he went through with Stan we just can't leave him to die in the streets!"

"Why not? Then he'll be the police's problem!" Black Doom spat out in disgusted anger. "He deserves to die!"

Vilgax was so infuriated that he grabbed Black Doom and slammed him against the wall, his Ruby Ray pointed mere itches from his face."Roger is not here legally as are we. What do you think will happen to us when they look up his records? They'll trace it back to us, you fool! I refuse to beg for forgiveness from Ben Tennyson again!" Having vented that out he let go of Black Doom and calmed down somewhat.

Black Doom raised his finger about to respond when the phone in their kitchen started ringing.

"'sigh' I'll get the phone," Black Doom says as he got up and proceeded towards the kitchen.

This was _not_the kind of life he hoped for when he agreed to room with his two other extraterrestrial roommates. Contrary to popular belief, he had not been killed after his battle against Shadow the Hedgehog. Instead, he secretly slipped under G.U.N's radar when they suspected him dead and since then began to live amongst the humans on Earth. Using advanced DNA remodeling he gained the power to shape shift into a human form. Doing so, he managed to receive a work position under the guise of Brock Davison as an accountant at Globo Inc., a company that specializes in overseas communication with foreign countries.

He had chose this specific company in hopes of spying on other countries to discover all the most top secret weapons and operations, planning on using them against them as revenge to his previous failure to conquer Earth. He picks up the phone to answer the call.

"This is Brock Davison speaking. Who may I ask is calling at this hour?"

"Oh, hey Doomy." A drunken Roger says over the phone."Hey, listen, I'm a tad drunk, I can't find my car keys, and right now I'm seeing a bunch of neon colored beavers eating the floorboards, so if you and Davy Jones can come pick me up, that would be swell... I'll pay you back for this, I swear. Okay, I gotta go, one of the beavers is gnawing on some guy's face. HANG ON, MAN! I'LL SAVE YOU!"

A loud crashing sound followed suit.

Black Doom hangs up the phone in frustration having to once again save his no good roommate's hide.

"Vilgax, we have to go pick up EP: The Extra-Pansexual again at the bar. He's having one of his episodes again."

"It's that bad this time?" Vilgax asks.

"He says he saw neon colored Beavers eating the floorboards."

"...Yeah, we should go get him."

Black Doom heads out the front door of the house while Vilgax grabs the keys to the car and the house and follows close behind closing the door behind him. Life with Roger is many things, but it's never boring.


	2. Brand New Day! Part 2

**Disclaimer: All characters and themes are the property of their respective owners.**

The drive to the bar where Roger was having another of his famed freakouts was tense for both Black Doom and Vilgax. Moreso to the former than the later.

"Can't you drive this damned Earth vehicle any faster?" Black Doom fumed as Vilgax waited until the signal changed back to green.

"I've seen how you drive. I'd have better luck getting cheese puffs served at a fancy party," Vilgax shot back as the light went green, allowing them to go to the bar.

Once they were at said bar they found Roger slapping a young woman's face because he was still under the delusion that she was one of the 'neon colored beavers'. Needless to say her boyfriend was not amused in the slightest.

"Do you mind? I'm trying to relax after a bad day at work and you're ruining my 21st birthday!" the young man whined as he pouted like a spoiled child, arms crossed.

His girlfriend broke free of Roger's grip and snapped at the disguised alien. "I don't know what the Hell's your problem buster, but if you think you're some kinda hero then you got another thing coming!" Her triad set something off in Roger's little alien brain and before you knew it, he began acting like a newborn baby, bawling his eyes out with crocodile tears. Thankfully Vilgax and Black Doom came in just in time, Black Doom in his Brock Davison disguise and Vilgax clad in a oversized Hawaiian shirt that was unbuttoned and tan slacks with sandals.

Roger stopped crying to see his roommates looking at him with concern and in Black Doom's case annoyance. "Oh looky here, it's two of the Rule 34 poster boys," he slurred, being too drunk to ever care about where and when he was. Black Doom grunted in anger as he grabbed Roger and together the three aliens sped back to the house they all shared.

Later in the evening Roger sobered up and went downstairs for a midnight snack. He didn't make it past the last step when he literally ran into Black Doom, arms crossed in a regal pose. "You realize the trouble Vilgax as well as myself went though to save your worthless ass," Black Doom snarled, his red eyes lighting up to showcase the fury he was undergoing. "We're lucky you didn't cause too much of a ruckus last night. Your antics nearly blew our covers and there's still the matter of paying us back for all the bills you have _yet _to pay for."

Roger clicked his tongue in amusement as he presented a fat wad of cash to the shocked Black Doom. "You may not think I know my way around these parts, but I've been on Earth for quite some time now. The Smiths made me use most of my funds to cover the damages to the house, but I was able to scrounge up a considerable amount of cash using my various personas. I have been meaning to pay those bill back, but I do like to party and you know that life is a party," he chuckled as he flipped though the money he had on hand.

"I seriously doubt that life is a party. From what I gathered on Earth culture it's either a bitch or a highway," Black Doom countered. Their argument was cut short by Vilgax saying something that made them both drop everything _and _I mean everything.

"There's a lawyer representing that yuppie couple Roger accosted at the bar. Shall I terminate him?" Vilgax asked with a murderous glint in his eyes.

"No. The last thing we need is more blood on our hands that what's already on there. Let's just shoo him off before he can piece together the fact that we're not here legally," Black Doom offered as a comprise. While Vilgax wasn't too thrilled about letting a lawyer live, he did know that it would be better to deal with him in a non-lethal way. No sense in killing someone that would ultimately pose no real threat to the threesome.

Having their cover blown is a very real danger to all three of them. All three of them have committed multitudinous crimes against the universe and the people of Earth. A quick glance confirmed their greatest fears: standing just outside was Phoenix Wright.

Wearing his trademark blue suit and having his hair styled in his usual manner, he looked ready to bring them down for their crimes. However that was not his intent, though neither of the roommates knew that and even if they did, it's doubtful any of they would truly care.

Being that he is a civic servant he has access to a skeleton key, which he used to unlock the door. By this point Black Doom was not thinking straight and when Phoenix popped his head in the doorway Black Doom brought both hands down on the lawyer's head, knocking him out cold.

"What did you do?!" Vilgax bellowed in outrage. Roger ran as fast as he could to get smelling salts but even the stinkiest ones weren't enough to revive Phoenix. "Great. Just great. Now we have a dead lawyer on our hands." He then turned to Black Doom and roared "Why did you think killing him would solve anything, you moron?! Eh, it doesn't matter right now. Help me and Roger bury the body before anyone sees this-"

Before Vilgax could finish Phoenix arose and thundered his famed **"Objection!"** startling all three aliens. "Seeing as I'm not dead you have to tell the fair people the truth about what really happened to me. It is your legal responsibility as legal citi-" He was unable to finish what he wanted to say before Black Doom used a baseball bat to knock him out again.

"Seriously?" Roger asked Black Doom in disbelief. The later alien only nodded to show Roger he means business. The smaller grey alien just shook his head at this.

"Maybe he's dead this time. We should bury him before-" Poor Vilgax got cut off by Phoenix's **"Objection!"** once again. "Damnation! Why won't you die, blasted human scum?" he bemoaned as Phoenix got up and started his usual ranting.

"I shall fight for the rights of the downtrodden, no matter when and where they are! As a lawyer of justice I must do good for the people _and _by the people as well." This went on for longer than needed, Phoenix's inhuman endurance allowing him to get up for anything the trio could throw at him.

This went on for over five hours. As I'm sure you can imagine this got to be rather boring and _fast._

But in the end there was no triumph from Phoenix; no shouts of **"Objection!" **to piece the now early morning air. When Black Doom saw that Phoenix's chest was not rising and falling, he knew that the lawyer was truly dead.

"AAAWWWW! WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?! WE KILLED A LAWYER! WE GONNA GET THE CHAIR FOR THIS!" Roger screamed in a blind panic. True, Roger was no stranger to illegal deeds, but even he has his limits. As his outfit was beginning to get soaked in terror sweat Roger started to prance about in a frightened manner, akin to a child lost in the dark.

"If he is indeed dead then all blame shall be placed on your head. I will not die to save **your** worthless life, not now, now ever," Black Doom hissed in a threatening way, causing Roger to cry even louder than he was before.

Vilgax had to act and fast. The yuppies were by now trying to get the door open and Phoenix has seemed to give up his ghost. Breathing in he opened it and welcomed them inside his not so humble home.

"I have discussed the matter with your lawyer. As it turns out you gave my roommate drugs that caused him to hallucinate, did you not?" Vilgax stated in a calm and regal manner befitting his title as ruler of his people. "Therefore you have no case here. Leave my house at once before I press charges against you both," he added with a glare, causing the two yuppies to back away from him in fear.

"I told you pouring that crap in that guy's drink was just asking for trouble," the young woman said bitterly. "But Noooo, you had to be the brat your parents know you are and tricked that poor guy into drinking you crap. My face is still sore, you bunghole!" she shouted before kicking her now former boyfriend in the balls."I'm sorry about all of this Mr...ummm-"

"Ken Valiant," Vilgax told her. It was not the most thought of fake name, but it will have to do.

"Thank you Mr. Valiant. C'mon, sissy boy," she said as she grabbed onto her former boyfriend's arm and dragged him off.

Taking a deep breath to calm themselves down Vilgax then said "That was something I didn't know I could do. But I must address the both of you before this can be said and done. Black Doom, you **must** work on that temper so none of this will happen again." Black Doom growled in anger but knew Vilgax has a point. He just nodded to show that he understands what he needs to work on.

Vilgax then turned towards Roger. "I know you're working on improving yourself, but try to be more mindful of your surroundings next time, OK?" he stated to Roger in a calmer way than he did with Black Doom.

"Gotcha," Roger replied with a corny salute. Vilgax chuckled a bit when he saw that.

"There's still the matter of the lawyer," Black Doom reminded the two in his rumbling voice. By now Phoenix's blood was all over the hardwood floor.

Vilgax just shrugged and said "Put him in the basement. We'll deal with him later when we're fully rested."

With one mighty toss Black Doom threw Phoenix down into said basement and slammed the door, leaving Mr. Wright in the dark. Both meanings of it in fact.

Turning to his two roommates Black Doom had only one thing to say: "Who wants waffles for breakfast?"

"I'm okay with this," Vilgax said as Roger said "Me too!".

"Before I get started cooking do you think anyone should check on Phoenix?"

Vilgax and Roger turned to one another and after a few seconds to think it over they both turned back to Black Doom and went "Nah."

"Fair enough." With that that done the trio went off into the kitchen for some well earned waffles. Little did Black Doom and Vilgax realize was that Roger did ask for a little extra 'something' in his drink, though he had no idea it would be that potent. But that was in the last now.

What matters is that it's a brand new day.

As For Phoenix, he's still alive, but he's not going anywhere for a long,long time...


	3. The Return Part 1

It was a crisp and beautiful morning as the rising sun shined its warm rays of light onto the home of our three alien villains-slash roommates. Roger was the first to wake up due to an ingrained habit of getting up before anyone else did. How else would he be able to mess up the lives of the Smiths if he didn't set time aside to do the all important prep work. Y'know, like picking out the alter ego of the day, ordering whatever little nick nack to bother the humans with and other silly little things he used as part of his craft.

There was more to Roger's pranks than just simple boredom and malice. His species needs to let out their bitchiness or all that negative emotion will turn to bile and poison them. If it is not released they will die. It nearly happened to Roger one time and he swore that it would never and I mean NEVER happen again.

Fate however had other plans for him. Vilgax soon came into the kitchen with grim news. " Thanks to Phoenix and his escapade we now have to have someone look over our house to make sure there's no foul play involved. I know that you need to vent every now and again but this is serious. If we're found out I'll have to move back to Vilgaxia and there's a odor in my palace that I cannot uncover the origin of," the conqueror muttered in disgust. A little before he started his endgame with Albedo he entrusted his planet to Psyphon, his aide.

That turned out to have been a bad choice, not because Psyphon was unloyal but because he was a bit of a slob. Since tomatoes don't grow on Vilgaxia the scent of the skunk steaks he had about once a week will not go away. Unless you're one of the very few aliens without the ability of smell it would be unwise to venture into the royal lair of Vilgax, least you get knocked out by how foul it was in there.

After taking a moment to moisten his lips Roger replied in a manner be-suiting his usual character. "Crap. There's Phoenix crap everywhere and he's not quiet at all. Can't we just throw him into the Sun and be done with it?"

"Errr..NO. Throwing people into things never ends well most of the time. Eggman Nega had that happen and when he got out he was more insane than before.." Roger tried to counter but Vilgax shushed him by adding "He's rather mean towards anyone that he feels offends him and he has far more power than he needs," Vilgax added in a grim tone of voice. "Do not try to anger him or we shall all suffer his wrath."

Slumping in his chair Roger moaned "He must be a complete monster if Vilgax is scared of him. I wonder what he's like though," he mused.

Meanwhile in the nearby city Eggman Nega was driving towards the home of the trio, a evil grin plastered onto his mug. He has the talent and skill of his better known counterpart and far more will power, but is far less moral about the ways he goes about in trying to take over the world. Sometimes it's the universe, the time stream, who can keep track of what a Sonic character does these days? Nevertheless Eggman Nega is on a mission and heaven help whoever gets in his way.

"There has to be an intersection somewhere!" he bemoaned loudly as his fuel tank came close to running out. Just as E. Nega was about to call it quits he saw the sign that would allow him to head towards the home of our 'heroes' "Oh ho ho! Time to make an house call they'll never forget," the egg shaped man chuckled as his rental car zoomed into the road leading to the house in question.

Later that day Black Doom was relaxing on the front lawn in his human disguise, sipping a lemonade while the breeze ruffed his hair. BD knew better than to let down his guard like this, but Vilgax and Roger are stressful people to live with. Can you really blame him for wanting some peace and quiet?

Before the blessed darkness of a good rest overtook him the shrill voice of Eggman Nega pieced the air that traveled into what counts as Black Doom's ears. "Greetings, Mr. Davison! I'm Eggman Nega, your harbinger of DOOM! Prepare for trouble and-"

"Nobody cares about you, nor your Team Rocket catchphase. Now get out of here; you're blocking my sun and wasting our valuable time," Black Doom rudely interjected before he went to refill his lemonade, leaving E. Nega in a fit of offended disbelief. If Black Doom were to remain silent that would have been the end of this, but his ego would not allow him to walk away without one more insult. "You can get you lawyer back when we're good and ready," he added before the realization hit him like a ton of bricks.

"That's all I needed to hear, my good sir," Eggman Nega replied in a evil tone. "I'm Phoenix's superior and he's been gone for some time now. If I suspect foul play was involved then you three are about to deal with a lawsuit you cannot hope to win. Mr. Wright is world renowned for his ability to seek out the truth and always find those who are truly guilty. Should he have passed on you will stand no chance against his supporters," he added smugly as Black Doom looked on, a look of disgust with himself awash on his human face.

A crude remark of "Gary Stu!" came from the mouth of Roger, who soon abulled out of the house clad in a tacky dark grey suit, white button up shirt and a tie that looked like a rainbow trout. Needless to say it was not one of his better disguises. Roger would have had better luck just wearing tacky cutoffs than the suit, as it looks like he's trying too hard to hide who he really is and Eggman Nega can see that a mile away.

Waitaminute, it's more like he can see that from SPACE. It's that bad.

"So what's the beef, Eggy?" Roger wisecracked in a bad New Jersey accent, causing Black Doom to mutter "We're doomed," and Vilgax to shake his head in worry. Of ALL the times for Roger to overdo acting like a human; with Eggman Nega right up close enough that you could make out the smell of cheap whiskey on his breath. Roger, being who he was continued on while Black Doom looked on like a deer caught in the glare of headlights. "I can assure you I have never done anything to harm someone who found out my secrets. I have _nothing to hide._"

Roger's calm demeanor was silenced by the roar of a spaceship roaring back to Earth, the heat making it look like a shooting star come to die. The pilot had no such morbid thoughts as the craft landed and he stepped out onto the planet he had been away from for so long. His goatee was long and ragged and his green shirt and jeans were dirty from not being washed since that fateful day Roger threw him into the tractor beam, separating him from his wife who he loves dearly and the family that for the most part had grown to care for him.

Roger soon crapped his pants as Black Doom and Vilgax went to his side, as Eggman Nega gloated about what looked like a surefire victory for him. "Gentlemen, I'm sure that the government doesn't care for those who harm its citizens and a special little lady and her family paid me handsomely to get this-" Eggman Nega had to stop to compose himself, as the pilot was rather ragged looking and gant from lack of good food. Still money talks and E. Nega continued. "-this fine young man called...Jeff Fisher!"

The trio of housemates felt a tang of worry come over them as who knows what Jeff might be feeling after being away for so long. What could be running though his mind now that's he is home once more and able to see his family again?

"Roger, where's the bathroom? I gotta take a number two and then we're going to have a talk about what you did to me," Jeff said firmly as he fought to keep his anger in check. While he responded in a somewhat calm manner Roger fainted from the terror he was feeling, leaving BD and Vilgax to mutter "We're screwed."


End file.
